It's been a rather long time since I last posted. Couldn't even bring myself to look and see what the date was of my last post and exactly how long it has been.
I have been M.I.A I know, apologies. Not that anyone actually reads this regularly... I just like to think that they do! I have been tied up with work, I have been really pushing myself for the last couple of months at work, almost to breaking point in an effort to prove myself and what I was working towards. Thankfully, after many long days, long commutes to other locations, and lots of tears (behind closed doors) I can say it has finally paid off... I secured a promotion and a move into an area of the business that I really wanted to work in. It does however require a lot of work..! But the good news is that I am going to be travelling a lot now for my job and that means that I have time on trains and in hotels which I can spend blogging... so I am hoping to be much more productive on here going forwards.
The thing is I have gotten a little lost with my blog and my YouTube, I want to make things that people want to read or that help to inspire, problem is I don't know how much people really want to hear about my life. And at the moment I haven't exactly felt inspired myself, so I don't feel like I can really help others.
I have (as always) though decided to just plod on, and push ahead. I have just signed up for something which I am quite excited about, a company has recently reached out to me about becoming an inspirational speaker for them, with the possibility of becoming a mentor for young people. - This is something which I think might start making me feel like I am making a difference again and will force me onwards.
If you are reading this, and have managed to get all the way to the bottom what would you like to read? Obviously this is going to be non fiction... but would you want to continue hearing about my life and inspirational bits and pieces thrown in here and there? Or would you prefer something more specific? Let me know what you think in the comments, or on Facebook, or twitter... or any other social media you can find me on!
.x.
Thursday 21 July 2016
Finding Yourself
As children it is instilled in us to think about what we want to be when we grow up, what if even when you have grown up you still don't know? What are you supposed to do then? How are we as adults supposed to discover what it is that we want to do?
People always say, "you learn from your mistakes" and that through trial and error you grow as an individual. But what if you feel at turmoil with yourself? When you have made the mistakes, tried things through trial and error and you are still no clearer on where you want to be? Instead you are surrounded by a somewhat chaotic mess of the things you have tried but haven't worked out.
The best advice people can offer to the confused individuals is "why not focus on your hobbies, you never know one of those could become your job'. How does anyone really achieve this?
As you can tell, I am one of those people who never knew what they wanted to be when they grew up. My answers ranged from rock star to underwater archaeologist! I know the things that I am good at and I know the things which I have as hobbies, but somehow I have found myself working for an investment firm... a role which I fell into by default through my work experience and where life took me. Never ever in a million years did I think that I would end up working in investments, surrounded by information about the stock market, how people are going to invest, and how much risk they would like to take with their money. The whole concept is so far fetched to me, all I ever wanted to do was something creative!
How are we supposed to find enough joy to get us through our working days when so many of us are in environments which don't suit our personalities? We can't all pack up and decide that we want to run a bar on a beach in a far away tropical island. We also can't pack up our jobs tomorrow and just pray that our hobbies take us places. We must, by default, build our personal lives and hobbies to such a point that we become known for them to friends and family. In vain hope that a chance comment somewhere down the line from someone could lead to employment or a business idea.
Does anyone else feel a calling in life but they just can't hear the call clearly? It's a vague muffle that you know is out there but you have no idea where?
People always say, "you learn from your mistakes" and that through trial and error you grow as an individual. But what if you feel at turmoil with yourself? When you have made the mistakes, tried things through trial and error and you are still no clearer on where you want to be? Instead you are surrounded by a somewhat chaotic mess of the things you have tried but haven't worked out.
The best advice people can offer to the confused individuals is "why not focus on your hobbies, you never know one of those could become your job'. How does anyone really achieve this?
As you can tell, I am one of those people who never knew what they wanted to be when they grew up. My answers ranged from rock star to underwater archaeologist! I know the things that I am good at and I know the things which I have as hobbies, but somehow I have found myself working for an investment firm... a role which I fell into by default through my work experience and where life took me. Never ever in a million years did I think that I would end up working in investments, surrounded by information about the stock market, how people are going to invest, and how much risk they would like to take with their money. The whole concept is so far fetched to me, all I ever wanted to do was something creative!
How are we supposed to find enough joy to get us through our working days when so many of us are in environments which don't suit our personalities? We can't all pack up and decide that we want to run a bar on a beach in a far away tropical island. We also can't pack up our jobs tomorrow and just pray that our hobbies take us places. We must, by default, build our personal lives and hobbies to such a point that we become known for them to friends and family. In vain hope that a chance comment somewhere down the line from someone could lead to employment or a business idea.
Does anyone else feel a calling in life but they just can't hear the call clearly? It's a vague muffle that you know is out there but you have no idea where?
Tuesday 14 June 2016
You CAN do this
Everyone has those days when they just think I can't do this any more. I've had enough. Or spend their day thinking what am I doing? I can't do this! I don't have the right skills or I don't know enough. I am here to tell you that you absolutely CAN do this.
Everybody has those thoughts, everyone doubts themselves at some point, remember that even when you feel that you are completely alone, you aren't. Even in that thought pattern, someone else somewhere in the world will be feeling exactly the same way, so you aren't alone.
The problem is when you are feeling at your lowest point, or like no one can relate to you those people who feel the same, who have gone through what you're going through and come out the other side, they are no where to be seen. When all you want to do is stand in the middle of the room and scream at the top of your lungs "DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND?!" you can't see anyone around you that looks remotely like they are going to be the one to say "I know how you feel".
Trust me those people may be closer than you think, all you need to do is have a little faith. I am a firm believer in what you put out in the world will come back to you. You need to have a little faith and trust that someone at some point will turn around and say "it's ok, I know exactly how you feel". It could be at work when you confide in a colleague, or a friend when you answer the question "are you ok?" truthfully. Or even in the most unexpected of places when you feel like you don't have anything in common with the people around you.
If you don't have the confidence to say what's really on your mind, or that you have been struggling with something recently, then my advice would be just put love in to the world. If you put love out into the world you would be amazed how much you get back. It may even be in these moments of giving a compliment that someone opens up to you and you find common ground and the reassurance that you have longingly be looking for!
If someone helps you out, or simply just does a great job have you told them? Have you paid someone a compliment recently? You would be amazed at some of the responses that you get. Even if nothing comes of it and someone just says thank you, isn't it better to have made someone feel better about themselves for the day?
Put some love out into the world, you'd be amazed at what comes back around.
And even if you don't feel like doing that, just keep plodding on, everything always happens for a reason.
.x. E
Everybody has those thoughts, everyone doubts themselves at some point, remember that even when you feel that you are completely alone, you aren't. Even in that thought pattern, someone else somewhere in the world will be feeling exactly the same way, so you aren't alone.
The problem is when you are feeling at your lowest point, or like no one can relate to you those people who feel the same, who have gone through what you're going through and come out the other side, they are no where to be seen. When all you want to do is stand in the middle of the room and scream at the top of your lungs "DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND?!" you can't see anyone around you that looks remotely like they are going to be the one to say "I know how you feel".
Trust me those people may be closer than you think, all you need to do is have a little faith. I am a firm believer in what you put out in the world will come back to you. You need to have a little faith and trust that someone at some point will turn around and say "it's ok, I know exactly how you feel". It could be at work when you confide in a colleague, or a friend when you answer the question "are you ok?" truthfully. Or even in the most unexpected of places when you feel like you don't have anything in common with the people around you.
If you don't have the confidence to say what's really on your mind, or that you have been struggling with something recently, then my advice would be just put love in to the world. If you put love out into the world you would be amazed how much you get back. It may even be in these moments of giving a compliment that someone opens up to you and you find common ground and the reassurance that you have longingly be looking for!
If someone helps you out, or simply just does a great job have you told them? Have you paid someone a compliment recently? You would be amazed at some of the responses that you get. Even if nothing comes of it and someone just says thank you, isn't it better to have made someone feel better about themselves for the day?
Put some love out into the world, you'd be amazed at what comes back around.
And even if you don't feel like doing that, just keep plodding on, everything always happens for a reason.
.x. E
Wednesday 1 June 2016
Time for a change
I decided a little while ago that I needed a change with my hair. Now for any woman this is can be a drastic move. Especially if like me you are growing your hair and then decide one day that enough is enough and lop it all off!
My hair was down to my bra line and I decided one day on a whim that I was done with this and so went into a hairdressers and cut it all off to shoulder length. Stupidly because this was such a spontaneous decision I didn't go to my normal hairdressers and needless to say I wasn't overly pleased with it! I have this weekend been to see my normal hairdresser to confess to my sin and have her look at it for me and see if she could correct the somewhat uneven cut I had. As always my hairdresser worked her magic and I am now really pleased with it.
Moral of the story, when you find a hairdresser you like always go there, especially when you are having a crazy moment!
My hair was down to my bra line and I decided one day on a whim that I was done with this and so went into a hairdressers and cut it all off to shoulder length. Stupidly because this was such a spontaneous decision I didn't go to my normal hairdressers and needless to say I wasn't overly pleased with it! I have this weekend been to see my normal hairdresser to confess to my sin and have her look at it for me and see if she could correct the somewhat uneven cut I had. As always my hairdresser worked her magic and I am now really pleased with it.
Moral of the story, when you find a hairdresser you like always go there, especially when you are having a crazy moment!
Tuesday 3 May 2016
Deal of the Week - Starbucks
Hi Peeps,
Just a quick post, I have discovered a deal which is on until the 6th May which I think you may all be interested in...
Through the Starbucks app this week you are able to get 50% off your order when you order ahead, all you need is the app, some credit loaded onto it and a store which accepts pre-orders (most major branches do). I ordered a coffee and a toastie for lunch today, I got them for half price and they were ready for me as soon as I walked in!
Definitely a deal worth knowing about, also if you order for the first time through the app this week you get double points for the rest of the week on purchases. Double the points and half the cost! It's a good week for a Starbucks pre-order!
Just a super quick post got lots to do tonight. I hope you are all well, catch up properly soon.
xx
Just a quick post, I have discovered a deal which is on until the 6th May which I think you may all be interested in...
Through the Starbucks app this week you are able to get 50% off your order when you order ahead, all you need is the app, some credit loaded onto it and a store which accepts pre-orders (most major branches do). I ordered a coffee and a toastie for lunch today, I got them for half price and they were ready for me as soon as I walked in!
Definitely a deal worth knowing about, also if you order for the first time through the app this week you get double points for the rest of the week on purchases. Double the points and half the cost! It's a good week for a Starbucks pre-order!
Just a super quick post got lots to do tonight. I hope you are all well, catch up properly soon.
xx
Sunday 10 April 2016
A blue day
Ever have one of those just unknown days that creeps up on you? You just feel a little numb and there is no rhyme or reason to it? I'm having one of those today. Absolutely no need for it I have had a really nice and relaxed weekend, but for some reason today my head is just elsewhere. I have tried to concentrate on all sorts of different things today but it's just no good.
Now I know that this makes for a fairly depressing read, after all you should know by now I am the positive one. The person that will always seek to point out the silver lining to every miserable situation or day. But today is just a 'meh' today - the best way that I can think to describe it. But I know that a lot of people know what 'meh' days feel like.
I have been doing a lot of soul searching as you all know from previous posts, but today I just feel like a little bit of a lost cause (I know right? Get the tiny violin out for me please). What is it that we should all focus on to snap us out of a funk when we get into one? Just decide that today isn't the day to face the world and go back to bed? But that would surely carry it on? Head out and try to be social - one of the things that you probably least feel like doing. So as always what is it that we revert to? An outlet of some kind, now everyone has their own, mine just happens to be creative. Hence why I am sat here writing this. Whatever your outlet be it running, singing, driving whatever it may be immerse yourself in it. The sun will always rise again tomorrow.
x
Now I know that this makes for a fairly depressing read, after all you should know by now I am the positive one. The person that will always seek to point out the silver lining to every miserable situation or day. But today is just a 'meh' today - the best way that I can think to describe it. But I know that a lot of people know what 'meh' days feel like.
I have been doing a lot of soul searching as you all know from previous posts, but today I just feel like a little bit of a lost cause (I know right? Get the tiny violin out for me please). What is it that we should all focus on to snap us out of a funk when we get into one? Just decide that today isn't the day to face the world and go back to bed? But that would surely carry it on? Head out and try to be social - one of the things that you probably least feel like doing. So as always what is it that we revert to? An outlet of some kind, now everyone has their own, mine just happens to be creative. Hence why I am sat here writing this. Whatever your outlet be it running, singing, driving whatever it may be immerse yourself in it. The sun will always rise again tomorrow.
x
Saturday 12 March 2016
Raw Emotions
Several things have happened recently in my life. Things which have evoked raw emotions. The kind of emotion that you don't come across very often in your life (especially if you aren't a particularly emotion person on an every day basis).
All this raw emotion of course lead to me thinking, how often do people feel raw emotion? And are there many people who allow themselves to feel it whole heartedly? I am very in touch with my deep emotions and can very much keep them in check. However not so good at my surface, everyday emotions, and sometimes struggle to keep these in check - I have a rubbish poker face!
But how do all the people who don't allow themselves to feel raw emotion cope? Do they constantly shut things away and say that enough is enough and that they aren't going to allow themselves to feel anything?
I have witnessed traumatic situations, dealt with heartache and felt the dull numb that you get when your world feels like its falling apart. So what keeps us going? Another set of emotions, the ones that I like to cling to and elevate on a daily basis. The emotions that will always trump the trauma, the disbelief, heartache and pain. - Hope, love and joy. There's a reason why we do things and there is always a feeling that we have that spurs us on. It's the hope that things will get better, hope for things to become what we dream of, hope that tomorrow or next week or next year are going to be our year. Love for the people around us, love for our talents and passions, love of life and all that it brings. And of this of course will lead eventually to joy & happiness.
If you, like several people I know at the moment, are reading this and feeling the first set of emotions, pain, particularly if you are feeling numb then I promise you it won't be too long until you feel hope again. You have to get through the pain to come out the other side. It is always darkest just before the dawn. Find the one thing that sets your soul on fire. That passion that makes you come alive, hold on to it, cherrish it and use it to spur you on. And on the days where you don't feel positive and you are struggling to see past the pain and upset, turn that into your fuel to move forwards and make a difference. If we never move forwards we would never grow as individuals. How could you ever be the best version of yourself if you didn't grow?
I heard a wonderful saying that I will live by for the rest of my life. People are like mirrors, its always the shattered ones with all the cracks that reflect the most light.
Our hard times, upset and cracks are the things which make us an individual and give us our own story. The people who have been through the most traumatic of things who have slowly pieced themselves back together often make for the best individuals that you will ever meet.
So next time you experience blinding heartache or numb pain as your world falls apart just remember broken mirrors always reflect the most light back into the world.
.x.
All this raw emotion of course lead to me thinking, how often do people feel raw emotion? And are there many people who allow themselves to feel it whole heartedly? I am very in touch with my deep emotions and can very much keep them in check. However not so good at my surface, everyday emotions, and sometimes struggle to keep these in check - I have a rubbish poker face!
But how do all the people who don't allow themselves to feel raw emotion cope? Do they constantly shut things away and say that enough is enough and that they aren't going to allow themselves to feel anything?
I have witnessed traumatic situations, dealt with heartache and felt the dull numb that you get when your world feels like its falling apart. So what keeps us going? Another set of emotions, the ones that I like to cling to and elevate on a daily basis. The emotions that will always trump the trauma, the disbelief, heartache and pain. - Hope, love and joy. There's a reason why we do things and there is always a feeling that we have that spurs us on. It's the hope that things will get better, hope for things to become what we dream of, hope that tomorrow or next week or next year are going to be our year. Love for the people around us, love for our talents and passions, love of life and all that it brings. And of this of course will lead eventually to joy & happiness.
If you, like several people I know at the moment, are reading this and feeling the first set of emotions, pain, particularly if you are feeling numb then I promise you it won't be too long until you feel hope again. You have to get through the pain to come out the other side. It is always darkest just before the dawn. Find the one thing that sets your soul on fire. That passion that makes you come alive, hold on to it, cherrish it and use it to spur you on. And on the days where you don't feel positive and you are struggling to see past the pain and upset, turn that into your fuel to move forwards and make a difference. If we never move forwards we would never grow as individuals. How could you ever be the best version of yourself if you didn't grow?
I heard a wonderful saying that I will live by for the rest of my life. People are like mirrors, its always the shattered ones with all the cracks that reflect the most light.
Our hard times, upset and cracks are the things which make us an individual and give us our own story. The people who have been through the most traumatic of things who have slowly pieced themselves back together often make for the best individuals that you will ever meet.
So next time you experience blinding heartache or numb pain as your world falls apart just remember broken mirrors always reflect the most light back into the world.
.x.
Tuesday 9 February 2016
Decisions & Relationships
How do we ever make decisions about opportunities, or things which we deem are needed? Perhaps you're a list maker (I definitely am), or perhaps you are a fly by the seam of your pants type of person? Does your tactic change depending on the situation that you are presented with?
And once a decision has been made and you have or are living with the result of your choice, how do you judge if you made the right decision? Again is that based on a feeling? Or do you logically assess your rationale and qualify the outcome as being correct?
We are all unique, no two people are the same. We each have our own personalities and perceptions of the world around us - something which we are all guilty of sometimes forgetting.
The reason all of this has surfaced as a thought and a subsequent blog is due to an anniversary in my life of a controversial decision. One that divided the people who were in my life at the time. There are times in our lives where we need to make decisions which won't be popular but that we have deemed as needed, by which ever of the above tactics you used. But how do we make others see that there is a reason behind this, one that is so important to you that it really does matter, so much so that your heart and soul need it?
I would like to say that I am a selfless person (its a trait that runs in the family). Not completely selfless, I have never cut my hair for charity or done anything overly extreme for the good of others (I take my hats of to those who do). But we (the family members) can be selfless to those around us sometimes to our own disadvantage. So how, (when it doesn't come naturally) do you try to make someone understand that for just this rare occasion you need to make a decision that is solely for you? That's a hard conversation to have, and one that doesn't sit comfortably with the receiver.
If you have ever been at a turning point in your life such as this you will understand what I mean. It's the conversation that can divide people, to the point where you will find out who is really there to support you, and who was just along for the ride.
Also, once you have wrapped your head around all of the above, what do you do when someone from the past suddenly appears, or continues appearing intermittently and you don't know what to do? Do you make a list? Do you quantify the options? Or do you go with the heart - the one thing that pushed you to make a life changing decision in the first place?
Food for thought
E .x.
And once a decision has been made and you have or are living with the result of your choice, how do you judge if you made the right decision? Again is that based on a feeling? Or do you logically assess your rationale and qualify the outcome as being correct?
We are all unique, no two people are the same. We each have our own personalities and perceptions of the world around us - something which we are all guilty of sometimes forgetting.
The reason all of this has surfaced as a thought and a subsequent blog is due to an anniversary in my life of a controversial decision. One that divided the people who were in my life at the time. There are times in our lives where we need to make decisions which won't be popular but that we have deemed as needed, by which ever of the above tactics you used. But how do we make others see that there is a reason behind this, one that is so important to you that it really does matter, so much so that your heart and soul need it?
I would like to say that I am a selfless person (its a trait that runs in the family). Not completely selfless, I have never cut my hair for charity or done anything overly extreme for the good of others (I take my hats of to those who do). But we (the family members) can be selfless to those around us sometimes to our own disadvantage. So how, (when it doesn't come naturally) do you try to make someone understand that for just this rare occasion you need to make a decision that is solely for you? That's a hard conversation to have, and one that doesn't sit comfortably with the receiver.
If you have ever been at a turning point in your life such as this you will understand what I mean. It's the conversation that can divide people, to the point where you will find out who is really there to support you, and who was just along for the ride.
Also, once you have wrapped your head around all of the above, what do you do when someone from the past suddenly appears, or continues appearing intermittently and you don't know what to do? Do you make a list? Do you quantify the options? Or do you go with the heart - the one thing that pushed you to make a life changing decision in the first place?
Food for thought
E .x.
Sunday 7 February 2016
It's one of those days
Do you ever have those days when you just feel a little bit meh... no particular reason you just don't feel particularly amazing? I'm having one of those days today.
I have just had a week off of work and have spent the whole week chilled out, I think it's just the reality that tomorrow it is back to the normal manic routine! Also I have spent quite a few days looking at my living room thinking that it's not how I want it yet. But I can't decide how it will look for me to be completely happy with it! I need a desk that's for sure! I spend far too many hours moving books on and off my dining table and enough is enough. I need to just admit that I need to make a small home office / desk sanctuary! Therefore I am off to IKEA shortly to see what I can get to create a miniature office!
Other than that its just a meh day, not really feeling myself today. I seem to have lost all energy and motivation.
You never know if the office turns out ok and I like the look of it I may post a little picture on here... we'll see.
I hope you are having a most inspired and happy weekend than me!
E .x.
I have just had a week off of work and have spent the whole week chilled out, I think it's just the reality that tomorrow it is back to the normal manic routine! Also I have spent quite a few days looking at my living room thinking that it's not how I want it yet. But I can't decide how it will look for me to be completely happy with it! I need a desk that's for sure! I spend far too many hours moving books on and off my dining table and enough is enough. I need to just admit that I need to make a small home office / desk sanctuary! Therefore I am off to IKEA shortly to see what I can get to create a miniature office!
Other than that its just a meh day, not really feeling myself today. I seem to have lost all energy and motivation.
You never know if the office turns out ok and I like the look of it I may post a little picture on here... we'll see.
I hope you are having a most inspired and happy weekend than me!
E .x.
Sunday 3 January 2016
Lets Kick Start 2016!
Another year has begun and I am going to kick start it as I mean to go on. Towards the end of last year I felt like I was going to finally get into the swing of making YouTube videos but that didn't quite go to plan! I am now going to kick start the year with every intention of uploading one video a week, but lets face it even if its just 1 a month that would be a vast improvement on last years performance!
I will write another epic post with my updates for the year and a bit more of a heart to heart, but for now lets just get the plugging out of the way! I want to make my channel a little more like me, and true to myself so I am going to start uploading a little bit of all sorts! Here's the latest instalment to my YouTube channel sorry that this is one of these links and not an inserted box... for some reason my blog has decided that it doesn't want to play ball...
Anyway enough for tonight! Enjoy the video xx
I will write another epic post with my updates for the year and a bit more of a heart to heart, but for now lets just get the plugging out of the way! I want to make my channel a little more like me, and true to myself so I am going to start uploading a little bit of all sorts! Here's the latest instalment to my YouTube channel sorry that this is one of these links and not an inserted box... for some reason my blog has decided that it doesn't want to play ball...
Anyway enough for tonight! Enjoy the video xx
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