10 Years since the idea

I have just been taking a trip down memory lane, looking at the blog and wondering if this is something that I need to pick up again. I figured that going back to the beginning seemed like a good idea! In that post it was 2013 and I start by saying that the idea of blogging has been 3 years in the making. That would make to 2010 when I first had the idea to write a blog and to start a YouTube channel. Both things that I thought would be the creative outlets in my life that I needed. And they were, but I was never consistent with them and never knew what to post. Always coming back to that same thing, what will people think, it needs to be something relevant something that people want to read. What I didn’t realise is that 10 years on I still have those same desires to create content, being a decade further down the line I have realised had I not had the fear of “what will people think” 10 years ago, and gone at it how I wanted to, who knows where it would have taken me, the things that I would have learnt. Every time I edited a video for YouTube back in the day before it was the cool thing to do I taught myself something else about iMovie, or thumbnails or marketing in a general sense. Every time I blogged I felt a sense of release with getting things out of my head and down into written form, and every now and then I would have the amazing bonus of human connection, some one reading something that I had written and it had resonated with them in some way.

Tech, writing, creative expression were all things that I wanted to embrace fully when I decided that this was what I wanted to try. Here I am a decade on and the passions remain the same, but I have made such little progress towards them. Needless to say the realisation that it’s been a decade and here I am, yet again, turning to blogging in a time when I want a creative outlet, I think it’s just time I realise and admitted to myself that this is where I need to be in one shape or another. 

I went at this with all the wrong intentions in the beginning, I was late teens and thought this is the way to make money without needing a job... the motivation was wrong. But the passionate drive was always the same, to use writing as a way or pouring myself out onto a virtual page. Whether or not there was anyone to read or listen. 

10 years on and with a decade more of life experience I have realised that I no longer care if this becomes a revenue stream or not, thats not the point. The point is passion, having a creative outlet, somewhere to pour myself out and if there happens to be someone to connect to or someone that reads and feels encourage then that’s an amazing added bonus.

How do you follow an MIA post when you have been MIA again?!

So this is awkward...

I wrote about being MIA and here I am again feeling like I need to explain a 9 month absence, and before you ask no I am most definitely not with child!

Back in October I landed myself a kick ass promotion at my job which moved me into a role much more suited to me as a person and I have been super busy trying to show that I was worth giving the promotion to and that I am right for the role. I know what you are thinking, they gave me the promotion they must have thought that already... yes but I am a perfectionist and I would hate for anyone to reward me and later look back on it and think that it was a mistake!

So whilst working super hard to show that I am most definitely up to the task, I have yet again consumed myself so much that I have kind of forgotten who I am and have neglected all hobbies again. An awful habit I know, this is one that I am desperately trying to correct!

So how are you all how is your 2017 going? Have you checked in at the half way point to see if you are on track for your resolutions/goals which you set yourself for the year? - I can't even remember what my resolutions were and as for goals I think I am getting there... but they are all work related and I definitely need to sit down and have a reassessment.

My promotion should actually mean that I have a little more time for doing things such as blogging as I am now on the road more which means I have evenings in hotels with time to kill. Instead on binging on rubbish films on TV I really should be making more use of the time!

What were your goals for this year? And have you reached them? What are you doing to make sure you are focused? I would really love to hear from you... literally anyone out there that has bothered to read this far!

If you have read this far then thank you.

Love E xx

M.I.A

It's been a rather long time since I last posted. Couldn't even bring myself to look and see what the date was of my last post and exactly how long it has been.

I have been M.I.A I know, apologies. Not that anyone actually reads this regularly... I just like to think that they do! I have been tied up with work, I have been really pushing myself for the last couple of months at work, almost to breaking point in an effort to prove myself  and what I was working towards. Thankfully, after many long days, long commutes to other locations, and lots of tears (behind closed doors) I can say it has finally paid off... I secured a promotion and a move into an area of the business that I really wanted to work in. It does however require a lot of work..! But the good news is that I am going to be travelling a lot now for my job and that means that I have time on trains and in hotels which I can spend blogging... so I am hoping to be much more productive on here going forwards.

The thing is I have gotten a little lost with my blog and my YouTube, I want to make things that people want to read or that help to inspire, problem is I don't know how much people really want to hear about my life. And at the moment I haven't exactly felt inspired myself, so I don't feel like I can really help others.

I have (as always) though decided to just plod on, and push ahead. I have just signed up for something which I am quite excited about, a company has recently reached out to me about becoming an inspirational speaker for them, with the possibility of becoming a mentor for young people. - This is something which I think might start making me feel like I am making a difference again and will force me onwards.

If you are reading this,  and have managed to get all the way to the bottom what would you like to read? Obviously this is going to be non fiction... but would you want to continue hearing about my life and inspirational bits and pieces thrown in here and there? Or would you prefer something more specific? Let me know what you think in the comments, or on Facebook, or twitter... or any other social media you can find me on!

.x. 

Finding Yourself

As children it is instilled in us to think about what we want to be when we grow up, what if even when you have grown up you still don't know? What are you supposed to do then? How are we as adults supposed to discover what it is that we want to do?

People always say, "you learn from your mistakes" and that through trial and error you grow as an individual. But what if you feel at turmoil with yourself? When you have made the mistakes, tried things through trial and error and you are still no clearer on where you want to be? Instead you are surrounded by a somewhat chaotic mess of the things you have tried but haven't worked out.

The best advice people can offer to the confused individuals is "why not focus on your hobbies, you never know one of those could become your job'. How does anyone really achieve this?

As you can tell, I am one of those people who never knew what they wanted to be when they grew up. My answers ranged from rock star to underwater archaeologist! I know the things that I am good at and I know the things which I have as hobbies, but somehow I have found myself working for an investment firm... a role which I fell into by default through my work experience and where life took me. Never ever in a million years did I think that I would end up working in investments, surrounded by information about the stock market, how people are going to invest, and how much risk they would like to take with their money. The whole concept is so far fetched to me, all I ever wanted to do was something creative!

How are we supposed to find enough joy to get us through our working days when so many of us are in environments which don't suit our personalities? We can't all pack up and decide that we want to run a bar on a beach in a far away tropical island. We also can't pack up our jobs tomorrow and just pray that our hobbies take us places. We must, by default, build our personal lives and hobbies to such a point that we become known for them to friends and family. In vain hope that a chance comment somewhere down the line from someone could lead to employment or a business idea.

Does anyone else feel a calling in life but they just can't hear the call clearly? It's a vague muffle that you know is out there but you have no idea where?

You CAN do this

Everyone has those days when they just think I can't do this any more. I've had enough. Or spend their day thinking what am I doing? I can't do this! I don't have the right skills or I don't know enough. I am here to tell you that you absolutely CAN do this.

Everybody has those thoughts, everyone doubts themselves at some point, remember that even when you feel that you are completely alone, you aren't. Even in that thought pattern, someone else somewhere in the world will be feeling exactly the same way, so you aren't alone.

The problem is when you are feeling at your lowest point, or like no one can relate to you those people who feel the same, who have gone through what you're going through and come out the other side, they are no where to be seen. When all you want to do is stand in the middle of the room and scream at the top of your lungs "DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND?!" you can't see anyone around you that looks remotely like they are going to be the one to say "I know how you feel".

Trust me those people may be closer than you think, all you need to do is have a little faith. I am a firm believer in what you put out in the world will come back to you. You need to have a little faith and trust that someone at some point will turn around and say "it's ok, I know exactly how you feel". It could be at work when you confide in a colleague, or a friend when you answer the question "are you ok?" truthfully. Or even in the most unexpected of places when you feel like you don't have anything in common with the people around you.

If you don't have the confidence to say what's really on your mind, or that you have been struggling with something recently, then my advice would be just put love in to the world. If you put love out into the world you would be amazed how much you get back. It may even be in these moments of giving a compliment that someone opens up to you and you find common ground and the reassurance that you have longingly be looking for!

If someone helps you out, or simply just does a great job have you told them? Have you paid someone a compliment recently? You would be amazed at some of the responses that you get. Even if nothing comes of it and someone just says thank you, isn't it better to have made someone feel better about themselves for the day?

Put some love out into the world, you'd be amazed at what comes back around.

And even if you don't feel like doing that, just keep plodding on, everything always happens for a reason.

.x. E